God Hates Death

     “There is no shame in refusing to fight a battle you cannot win,” the doctor said. “Your family should get together and decide how far you are willing to go. These infusions are painful, and she’ll need them more as time goes on. Your emergency room visits will become weekly, then bi-weekly occurrences. There is nothing we can do to change the final outcome.” The doctor’s white coat flapped as he exited the room. 

     Mom dealt with congestive heart failure, and now we learned about stage IV kidney disease. Her dementia grew worse every day. I knew she wouldn’t remember this conversation tomorrow.

     “Mom, do you understand what the doctor is telling us?”

     She nodded to affirm her words. “Yes, and I’m ready to go whenever God calls me home.”

     Two weeks later, I sat in the hospital again and listened to her weep. She’d gotten too weak to walk. Time for another potassium infusion.

     “Why are they doing this to me?" She sobbed. "What did I do wrong?”

     “Oh Mom, you didn’t do anything wrong…” I said, as tears choked my voice. She’d forgotten about her diagnosis and didn’t understand why she needed this.     

     I called my sister and brother to talk about hospice care. It was a hard decision to make, but we agreed to take that path.

     As Mom’s health declined further, I struggled with conflicting emotions. I dreaded she was about to die, and at the same time, I feared she’d continue to live in misery. I struggled to pray. Should I ask for God to prolong her life or just to take her home? Either way didn’t seem right. I decided to simply ask for his mercy.

     One day, this verse popped up in my morning readings. It brought me comfort: “For I take no pleasure in the death of anyone,” declares the Sovereign LORD. “Repent and live.” (Ezekiel 18:32 NIV)

     Later that day, hospice called me. “Your mom is unresponsive. She could have hours or days left.”

     “Should I come now?”

     “That’s entirely up to you.”

     I thought about the verse I read that morning. “I’ll come now.”

     In two hours, she passed peacefully. I’m thankful we were with her.

     Facing death? Know that it was never part of God’s original plan. Humans were supposed to live together in a beautiful place spending time with him. But we believed the lie that God is not good. Not trusting God and believing he won’t give us his best, produced death for us. It still destroys us. We need to repent and believe God means what he said.

     I used to think death was a tool that God used to take us home to heaven, but I changed my mind. How do I know God hates death? It’s a theme in Scripture.

     God hates death so much that he sent us Jesus. Jesus weeps when his friend Lazarus dies. A little while later he raises him from death, but his initial reaction is to cry. If Jesus cries when someone dies, it’s acceptable for us to cry too. He loves us so much; I wonder if he cries with us in our grief. According to Jesus, “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” (John 3:16 NIV)

     Five families I know have loved ones in hospice care. I pray for God’s mercy and comfort for them. This is a difficult journey. No one, including God, likes it.

The Lord is not slow in keeping his promise, as some understand slowness. Instead he is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance. (2 Peter 3:9 NIV)

Susan Boltz